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... bringing Tantra from the realms of the esoteric and exotic, into practical daily life...
Intervista personal con Raja and Puja
Richardson
P: En este momento se habla tanto de Tantra a nuestro alrededor,
¿dónde posiciona usted su trabajo entre otros trabajos de tantra?
Puja: Sí oímos cada vez mas acerca del Tantra, a causa de una
subida general del nivel de conciencia en nuestra sociedad, así que es
algo bueno. Nuestro enfoque es único porque se centra en el mismo acto
sexual.
P: Yo creía que el Tantra trataba de todo lo relacionado con
el sexo.?
Puja: Sí y no. Ciertamente la mayor parte de lo que oímos sobre
el Tantra gira alrededor el sexo sin enfocarse en el centro del sexo, que son
los órganos sexuales en sí mismos. En nuestro enfoque nosotros
llegamos a ser conscientes de estos como dos mitades de un total, y descubrimos
cómo crear un potencial extático entre ellos. De esta manera nos
dirigimos a los elementos esenciales del sexo. Ofrecemos una visión
tántrica del sexo que implica una exploración de la
comunicación genital sutil, que nos conduce a estados de éxtasis
y meditación. Y esto puede cambiar tu vida. Como resultado de nuestro
enfoque directo en el sexo, sólo trabajamos con parejas y durante
nuestros retiros hay un tiempo dedicado a practicar en privado. Tampoco hay
ninguna actividad sexual o desnudez en la sala del grupo.
P: ¿Cuál es la diferencia con el sexo normal?
Raja: Es un enfoque lento, con el énfasis puesto en la relajación
y la sensibilidad antes que en la sensación y el estímulo. En
general, el sexo trata de ir elevando la energía y la intensidad,
buscando un orgasmo o una experiencia clímax. Pero en la realidad la
mente y el cuerpo se van poniendo cada vez más tensos y esto provoca
problemas como la eyaculación prematuras y la frustración. La
verdad es que si nos relajamos profundamente durante el sexo alcanzamos el
éxtasis naturalmente. Así que la gran diferencia es que alentamos
la relajación de todas las maneras. Esto nos trae al Aquí; el
secreto de Tantra. Cuándo estamos aquí nos volvemos conscientes y
estamos despiertos. Y esta cualidad especial transforma el sexo en amor.
¡Es notable! Generalmente después de sólo de 2-3 días
de hacer el amor con este estilo nuevo vemos a las parejas que brillan,
resplandeciente de amor. ¡Todos parecen mucho más felices! Es
maravilloso.
P: ¿De qué trata todo esto? ¿Cuál es su
objetivo?
Puja: Bien, esto es lo increíble; cuando entendemos más acerca de
los genitales, cómo los ha diseñado la naturaleza, nos ponemos en
contacto con la parte más profunda de nosotros mismos. Esto nos da
seguridad y confianza; nos volvemos más amorosos, menos temerosos. En el
amor y el sexo la mayoría de nosotros hemos experimentado un dolor
tremendo, desilusión, inseguridades y confusión. Hemos discutido
acerca del sexo, nos hemos separado de alguien a quién amamos a causa
del sexo, y así seguimos. Sin embargo, con esta nueva entrada de
información podemos darle la vuelta a todo este escenario y transformar
nuestras vidas. ¿Crear amor, alegría, realización y
unión a través del sexo? El sexo es una fuerza curativa poderosa.
Por eso queremos compartir este conocimiento con otras parejas. El hecho es que
es posible crear una relación amorosa donde el interés y la
atracción sexuales aumenten con el tiempo.
P: ¿Aumentar? Ese no es generalmente el caso.
Puja: No, muy a menudo después algún tiempo las parejas se
vuelven insensibles la una a la otra, los cuerpos se cierran, se forman de
hábitos. En nuestro enfoque los genitales se hacen cada vez mas sensible
el uno al otro, como instrumentos musicales. Es un afinado muy preciso, y el
sexo mejora.
P: ¿Para quién es adecuado su grupo?
Raja: Para cualquier pareja que es interesada en hacer el amor. Todo el mundo
tiene la capacidad de hacer el amor de modo que es adecuado para todos. A veces
asisten parejas que han dejado de hacer el amor, o lo hacen muy raramente, y
este nuevo enfoque abre otra vez la puerta a la intimidad. Un punto importante
que hemos encontrado es que la información que damos es adecuada para
todas las edades. Tanto si tienes dieciséis años como sesenta. Si
lleváis juntos 35 años o una noche. En nuestros grupos hemos
visto muchas combinaciones diferentes de edades y nacionalidades, y nuestro
enfoque funciona. Es interesante observar que cuanto más joven son los
participantes más fácil les resulta comprender el nuevo
enfoque
P: ¿A qué te parece que se debe esto?
Raja: Cuándo somos jóvenes el condicionamiento sexual no es tan
fuerte, la mente no es tan rígida, y el cuerpo está mucho
más flexible y relajado.
P: ¿Significa esto que no es necesaria ninguna experiencia
tántrica previa o ninguna preparación espiritual?
Raja: Sí, tienes razón. Tenemos parejas provenientes de todos los
campos. La experiencia en el Tantra quizás sea útil pero no es
esencial. Todos tenemos un condicionamiento sexual similar, y este
condicionamiento es la raíz de las dificultades que encuentra la gente
en el sexo.
P: ¿Qué quieres decir por condicionamiento?
Raja: Simplemente nos ponemos demasiado tensos cuando practicamos el sexo, nos
volvemos automáticos, hacemos demasiado y desgraciadamente terminamos
también rápidamente. La satisfacción no es profunda y
queremos más. La próxima vez volvemos a repetir otra vez lo
mismo, y la situación de descontento continúa. Llega hasta el
extremo en que las personas pierde el interés en el sexo o siente
repulsión. Especialmente las mujeres. Pero a los hombres también
les sucede. La causa está en la tensión y el esfuerzo implicados.
Muchos hombres han admitido que para ellos el sexo se ha convertido en un duro
trabajo. Así que es un alivio de dejar caer todas las presiones y las
expectativas. Cuándo aprendemos a relajarnos en el sexo pueden
transcurrir horas, no tiene que haber un punto final. Es una experiencia
profundamente agradable, de amar y haber sido amado. Descubrir nuestro
potencial sexual escondido requiere experimentar con nuestras pautas en
sexuales. Aprender a relajarse en el sexo es un arte, no es cosa de noche.
Ponernos tensos en el sexo está en nuestra psicología, así
que lleva tiempo y práctica desenredarnos y confiar en la inteligencia
de los genitales.
P: La inteligencia y los genitales no se encuentran normalmente
unidos. ¿Cómo pueden ser los genitales inteligentes?
Puja: Existe una polaridad oculta o magnetismo entre los genitales masculinos y
femeninos, una sutil fuerza de atracción. Esta es la base de nuestra
éxtasis biológico natural en el sexo. Pero tenemos que ir
más despacio, volvernos más sensibles y conscientes, y entonces
esta inteligencia comienza a despertar. Este es el milagro. Depende de la
conciencia; no es una técnica especial.
P: ¿Os basáis en rituales tántricos que incluyen a
todos los participantes?
Raja: No, nosotros no trabajamos con rituales de grupo, sino que trabajamos con
cada pareja, con dinámicas individuales. De modo que no es una
experiencia de grupo sino una experiencia personal. Los rituales funcionan para
traernos lentamente a la conciencia del momento presente. Nos ayudan a estar
más vivos y abiertos en el cuerpo y la mente. Esta es la idea
detrás ellos. Nosotros utilizamos otras maneras de traernos al
aquí. Si una pareja encuentra útil un ritual, entonces se les
alienta a utilizarlo antes de hacer el amor.
P: ¿Cuál es su formación? ¿De dónde
proviene su inspiración?
Puja: Somos afortunados por tener dos de las fuentes de la inspiración
tántrica más elevadas, Barry Long y Osho. A través de
ellos fui dirigida a una exploración del sexo que cambió mi vida.
Yo ciertamente nunca esperé acabar enseñando Tantra a otras
personas. Estaba buscando más profundidad en mi propia vida sexual.
Durante mucho tiempo practiqué diariamente y poco a poco llegue a crear
una experiencia totalmente diferente. Y esto me permitió entender esta
guía tántrica a niveles más profundos. Fui capaz de
combinar el enfoque radicalmente moderno de Barry Long con una guía
tántrica con miles de años, hermosamente interpretada por Osho.
Barry Long es las raíces y Osho las alas. El sexo en si mismo es una
inspiración y una experiencia espiritual.
Raja: Cuándo me encontré por primera vez con este nuevo
enfoque sentí que era correcto. No se trataba de que hubiera tenido
dificultades sexuales en mi pasado. Mi vida sexual era buena, excepto que yo no
estaba enterado de que existieran otras posibilidades. Escuchando las cintas de
Barry Long, sobre "Como hacer el Amor" pude sentir la verdad de lo
que decía. Es difícil de explicar. Pero se me ofreció un
enfoque del sexo en donde se deposita la confianza en el cuerpo y en el que
todo se basa en poner la conciencia en los genitales. Repentinamente
había dejado de estar programado para un sexo mecánico y
automático. Abandoné la necesidad de tener que actuar o estar
ansioso, y eso me tranquilizo tanto que lo sentí como una vuelta a casa.
Mis años de la experiencia con el Tai Chi puede que hayan sido
útiles, moverme de una manera lenta y meditativa, pero para ser honesto
sólo cuando comencé a relajarme en el sexo me sentí
enraizado y tuve por primera vez acceso a mi mundo interior. Tuve la suficiente
fortuna de encontrar en Puja, a alguien cuya experiencia y confianza me
ayudó a continuar en esta aventura.
P: ¿Cuándo empezasteis por primera vez a enseñar a
parejas?
Puja: El primer grupo fue en 1993 con el personal de la escuela de Tantra en el
ashram Osho en Puna, India. Ese mismo año hice algunos grupos en Italia,
y en 1994 dirigí grupos para la organización Internacional de
Tantra en Europa, así que fui capaz de trabajar con maestros formados en
otros enfoques del Tantra. Desde entonces cada año tenemos varios
retiros en países diferentes.
P: ¿Podría contarnos algo más acerca de vuestros
retiros?
Puja: Nos reunimos durante una semana en un lugar residencial donde cada pareja
tiene una habitación doble y si posible un cuarto de baño
privado. Es un poco como una luna de miel, pero de tipo espiritual. Paso a paso
durante los 7 días presentamos "Love Keys", titulado en
español "Tantra, Amor y Sexo", que forma la base de nuestra
enseñanza. Nos enfocamos en el cuerpo, utilizando el Tai Chi, las
meditaciones y diferentes técnicas corporales para despertar nuestras
energías. Cada día damos un paso más profundo en esta
nueva forma de practicar el sexo. Practicar con "Love Keys", es la
parte más importante del grupo.
P: Tu libro se publicó el año pasado, y se titula en
ingles "Love Keys". ¿Cuál es la conexión?
Puja: El libro describe el paso a paso el enfoque que ofrecemos en nuestros
retiros. Así que es posible comenzar a experimentar a través de
su lectura. Esa era la intención detrás del libro. Durante el
retiro la información es impartida de una manera verbal directa,
así que quizás sea más fácil de absorber.
Además ponemos las pautas del libro inmediatamente en práctica,
sin esperar a más tarde. Esto es muy poderoso. Rajá y yo estamos
presentes y esto crea una base de apoyo cuando surgen las preguntas o las
experiencias requieren la clarificación.
Osho Times Germany
Interview with Satya
Puja and Raja who together work as tantra teachers focusing exclusively on
couples. Puja, (Diana Richardson), has written about this form of Tantra. "Zeit für Liebe" (Time for
Love) which is published in April 2001 by Edition Innenwelt (Innerworld
Edition) of the Osho Verlag in Germany, is the title of this undogmatic
approach which in simple easy to follow steps shows how one can live a
fulfulling sexuality and inticmacy with a partner. This book was published in
English as "The Love Keys" in 1999.
November 2000 it was published in Italian by Sonzogno under the title of "Come fare l'amore al massimo"(by
Diana Richardson).
Q: Puja, how did you
come into this work?
Puja: For many years I
was teaching bodywork, including at the Osho Commune in India. Most especially
I loved massage. At this time i began to experiment with the power of
relaxation whilst touching people. Another aspect was to focus on remaining
centred in myself and not getting lost into the other. What I noticed then, was
that the contact between me and the person who I was touching could be
enormously deepened through my relaxation and my being centred. So the
"Love Keys" which i now share in the tantra groups for couples, some
of them go back to that time when I was teaching massage. Through my work as a
body therapist I quickly found the key points in the body which are important
for relaxation. These points can help one to stay relaxed in the here and now
while making love.
Q: When did you
start to teach Tantra to couples?
Puja: In 1993. I
started with a five day group. All the participants were from the Tantra
department of the Multiversity in Pune. The group became popular very quickly.
I had never actually had the intention to teach tantra to couples, but so many
friends asked me about it, and it was easy for me to talk on the subject.
Because I had been teaching bodywork for years, and because love is made
between two bodies, it was a natural step for me to offer Tantra for
couples.
Q: What is in your
opinion the difference between the way you teach Tantra and other
schools?
Puja: Tantra, as we
understand it, is the transformation of sex into love, and it happens through
the awareness. The sex energy then becomes meditative energy and love grows.
There are only very few tantra teachers who focus on the connection between sex
and meditation. Most forms of tantra focus on ecstatic experiences, to get a
better or longer orgasm. You have to do something, to get something. In
contrast we try to take away all doing and be completely in the moment. The
intensity is created through awareness. And then sex happens all by itself. In
lovemaking we must learn to relax and find a new form of communication between
penis and vagina. This communication exists in reality, whether we are aware of
it or not. So the biggest difference is to drop all doing. Because in reality
it is about becoming more authentic, and more and more people come to the point
that they want to apply this in sex.
Q: What exactly are
these "keys" in lovemaking? Earlier you spoke about different places
in the body where we can relax. Can you say a bit more about this?
Puja: There are a great
many keys to help a person to be more relaxed during sex. The basics are of
course your awareness and presence. The breath can help in the same way as do
certain body positions. I will give an example: in general woman hold the
vagina tight during lovemaking, and this constricts the penis. Therefore women
must learn to be as wide and open as possible in the vagina. This contradicts
many common beliefs. Many woman have real phobias that their vagina is too wide
and relaxed, and that the man will not be able to feel anything. She thinks
that she must "entertain" the penis. The basic idea with us is: when
the woman is not open, then also the man is not able to flow with his energy.
As soon as the feminine canal is open, then the male energy begins to flow. For
men this means to relax the pelvic floor and buttocks. As soon as the buttocks
get tense the genitals automatically become tense. Another important aspect is
the polarity which exists within our bodies. Osho spoke about this a great deal
(see discourse) The first chakra in man is positive and in woman it is
negative. in the heart chakra it is exactly the opposite. through this a circle
of energy can be created between man and woman. the breasts of a woman are the
doorway to her sexuality. The vagina does not open itself until the energy in
the breasts is flowing.
Raja: Men often have a
strange idea of how to excite a woman, for example by rubbing the clitoris. But
if they knew that they simply have to place attention on the breasts, and women
becomes automatically open. We must love her through the breasts. Men always
think that women function in exactly the same way as we do, and even the woman
begin to think this, they must also function like men. But when we are able to
value our opposite polarities, then a circle of energy is created.
Puja: The breasts of
women are often blocked because they have many complexes regarding their
breasts, they are too big, too loose, too small....these blocks must be
released so that the female pole of the woman can become clear and energy can
flow. Basically we have to unlearn everything what we have learnt in sexuality
until now.
Q: So do you
basically teach meditation and use the sexual energy to become more conscious?
Puja: You cannot really
separate these two things. Whether you meditate or want to make love, it is the
same way in. The beauty of lovemaking is that the genitals keep you present.
And here I am not speaking about genitals in the old understanding where you
use friction to give pleasure, to excite yourself and then to discharge the
energy. No, we understand the genitals as bio-electrical poles, the penis as
the positive and the vagina as the negative - and together they create an
energy. This energy is also the meditative energy, the source of ecstasy. The
first step in lovemaking is to come back to yourself and not place the
attention on the other person. The more you can allow yourself to open, the
more this energy can flow.
Q: Are there any
keys which in the beginning help more to stay in contact with yourself?
Puja: Not only the
beginning but all the time you have to stay in contact with yourself.
Raja: We want to really
look at what we are doing in sex. We do not say that you must change something,
we say only: "Let us bring awareness and consciousness into the act to see
how we make love." Then there are many things to discover, for example
what thought patterns we approach sex with. We do not use a special technique,
we only bring the awareness into play, and this changes the way we make love.
In the very moment that you can see that you follow a fixed programme, and sex
has become mechanical for you, then naturally you want to come out of this
pattern. As soon as you recognise your life energy as a unit, as one energy,
and you start to relax into the base of this energy, namely sex, then in
general you will be more relaxed in life. All the other areas where we express
our energy become more relaxed, with less goal orientation, less ambition, less
excitement. One participant came to us at the end of a group and said"
Wow! this was the most important experience of my life. I see the world now
through totally different eyes."
Puja: Now and then we
also get very young couples in our groups, who are just nineteen and twenty,
and they say to us: " Hey, that was a relief! " because they were
just starting to feel how much performance pressure and expectation is
connected with sex. " It is fantastic, i do not necessarily have to have
an orgasm and i do not have to help my woman to an orgasm. I do not have to
come every time". From the beginning we try to take this excitement out of
sex, because as long as the focus is on the excitement, the more subtle things
happening during lovemaking are completely missed.
Q: What about the
people who are coming to your groups? What do they expect from the group? Are
they interested in meditation and spiritual growth or do they simply want their
relationships to improve?
Puja: They come from
all age groups from nineteen to sixty nine. They come because they have a
longing for a deeper experience, an experience which is more fulfilling. They
have the feeling that they are stuck in a one way street. And even when they
change partners they eventually come to this same point. Each one, and
especially women, feel intuitively that there must be more. The possibility to
bring sex and meditation together is for many a genuine revelation.
Q: Osho speaks in
his Tantra books about holding the energy in and not releasing it. How does
this aspect come into your work?
Puja: What we have
learned is to keep the energy down in the genitals, and during orgasm to
discharge it. But when you keep the energy in the body it automatically rises
upward. the only thing we have to do is to break our habit of releasing energy
and discover that there is something beyond this climax. For the man it means
beyond ejaculation, and for woman it means beyond orgasm - which is hard work,
to first build up the energy and only to discharge it. What we need is a new
orientation concerning our sexuality. Within each of us exists an intrinsic
energy circuit, but we always use only a part of this. We must learn to allow
energy to circulate within us, so that it can rise. We must also ask ourselves
"What does an orgasm really give us? Why is it so important for us? Make
yourself a list of all the things that go with orgasm: hard work, tension,
performance pressure, pretending, competition etc....when you have orgasm as a
goal in sex then you cannot enjoy the moment, then you miss the present. We
have to learn that lovemaking can happen without any effort. The body wants to
make love, and it does not need the mind. Another important point for couples
is how they manage their emotions. Often we do not notice how emotions can
destroy love.. This is because we are not aware of how our emotions function.
We work a lot with emotions and look at them from a totally other perspective.
Raja: We also work a
lot with the body in our groups. Ultimately it is the body that makes love, and
not the mind. The society brings us to live a sexuality of the mind: through
fantasy and imagination , for example, pornographic films and magazines. It is
important to develop awareness of the body, because most people are living in
the head.
Puja: Our work revolves
around a change in consciousness, not the learning of a special technique. We
do not want people to have the impression that one way is right and the other
is wrong, we only want to encourage them to enter sexuality with consciousness
and awareness. It is not about breaking with your past and the old way of
making love, and then to learn something new, but to experience yourself in sex
with awareness. If this is the were the case you would try the new for a few
weeks and then your old style would creep in again through the back
door.
Q: Can we come back
to the point where you said you work a lot with emotions and feelings? Can you
say more about this?
Raja: We make a
distinction between emotions and feelings. Feelings happen in the moment - that
what you are experiencing and feeling here and now. Each feeling makes you more
open, more vulnerable, more intimate, and brings you ultimately closer to your
partner. Emotions on the other hand have their roots in the past. In emotion
you make the other responsible, you feel rather separate, and you start blaming
the other. As soon as I can see the difference, and for example realise that I
blame Puja, then i know immediately that this is an emotion and it is coming
from my past. Puja was only the trigger, not the cause. Then I can take back
the emotions to myself and I can find a way to release them, and come back to
my partner fresh. We have the tendency to dump our psychological garbage on the
other, on the one we love the most, because we believe he or she is the reason
for our not feeling well. In general women are seen as more emotional than men,
but that is absolute nonsense. Men that are only concerned about satisfying
their own sexual needs, deposit in the woman all their tension while making
love. And what remains is a container of tension in the woman that she keeps in
herself. And then this manifests in emotions. We believe that many problems,
like for example premenstrual syndromes or problems with menopause have their
roots in a life of making love in a tense way.
Q: What are the
concrete signs that I am caught up in emotions?
Puja: You are emotional
when you start to blame the other. Or when you feel separated and not
connected. And when you cannot look somebody in the eyes. Or you hear yourself
repeating the same sentence again and again over years. " you always
do.../ you never do ...." or : "you are never.../ you are
always....", then you know that you are in emotion and that the past is
ruling your life.
Q: What do you
suggest to your participants how to deal with their emotions?
Puja: First we tell
them that it is not important to understand the root or cause of these old
emotions. Second it is important to tell your partner that you are emotional.
We suggest that they move their body in a physical way, go jogging, shout or
beat a pillow, or to do dynamic to get rid of those emotions. The most
important thing is that you stop dumping emotions on your partner.
Q: Do women find it
easier to have an access to this way of tantra than men?
Puja: For sure women
recognise the truth of what we teach much faster than men. The old form of love
making with tension and too much doing does not acknowledge at all the female
energy. Therefore women suffer more through superficial goal oriented sexuality
than men.
Raja: Of course it is
difficult for men to let go of the old conditioning, if for example you are
told that you are a lousy lover, this is the worst hit on you ego imaginable.
This shows how important sex is to us men. Often we do not know how we can
simply be in sex without doing. And to let it simply happen and flow with it.
Puja: With this new
approach of awareness and not doing in sex finally the man can also relax and
does not need to keep things together anymore. Already after a week men can
feel the difference of sensitivity in their penis. So therefore there is no
truth in the prejudice that tantra is good for women and men do not have fun.
Only if the women are able to open sexually men can experience the flow of his
energy. In the sexual area women play a key role, she creates the climate and
she has much more power in sex than she might realise.
Q: You said that
many couples that come to you are not directly interested in meditation but
what you both are doing is nothing else but working with consciousness. Can
your participants integrate their experiences into daily life?
Raja: For most people
the love making is at the end of their priority list. First you have to finish
a thousand and one things and then at the end of the day short before falling
asleep, or in the morning, you have got fifteen minutes for lovemaking. And
this we call spontaneity, but it is rather accidental. We tell the people that
they have to put it back on top of the list. And when they are very busy that
they should even make appointments for lovemaking, and put it in the calendar.
Generally it works very well when you know that on Thursday afternoon at 5 pm
you have 2 hours to make love to your woman. Our participants have had good
experiences with this - instead of going to the cinema, or having a chat with
friends, or reading the newspaper, to use this time for lovemaking. And that
really changes their lives.
Puja: People see that
they do many things in life that are not really important and which do not
really give them anything. Then they let go of the more unimportant things, and
focus on meditation and love. We have a lot of contact with our participants.
They write to us, call us, or send us emails. and our first question is always
"How often do you make love?", and couples who make love often are
usually in a much better state than those who take time for it only once a
month. The more love you make the more loving you become. It is also
interesting how parents behave with their children at this point. They always
think they have to do something with the children, have to entertain them, and
do not have time for making love. But children are very sensitive how the
parents are with each other. Some children of a couple who did the group with
us even sent their parents off to bed to make love, if there was a lot of
tension and fighting between them!
Q: Puja you wrote a
book The Love Keys with the German title Zeit für Liebe, where you explain
your way of Tantra. What was the intention behind the book?
Puja: I wrote this book
to change our awareness in lovemaking. And I already had some feedback from
readers who report that after reading it, their love life changed completely,
with out doing anything for it. The book is not only intended as a group
support but it is very much addressed to people who cannot come to the group.
Raja: The actual
difference from other ways of Tantra is that our approach is very simple,
without specific rituals or techniques.We do bodywork, teach a new orientation
in sex and practice lovemaking. We always tell people: "We do not give you
the flowers, just the seeds. The real work starts after the group. You have to
take this information back home and integrate into your life. And you have to
take care of the seeds, that they can grow, get sun, nourishment and love. |
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