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How often have you said to your lover or yourself, “I want to make love.</FONT><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> I just don't have the time.” </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">In a sense, that is true, because satisfying sex requires time. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">However, when we do finally make love we are always in a hurry to get to the end part.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> The orgasm part.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> When we are striving toward that, we are ahead of ourselves.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> We are not really “here”, we are not even really together, almost using each other, as our every move or touch is oriented toward our goal.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> Every step helps us up the ladder. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">The orgasm has become the only means of fulfillment, and we feel that sex is not really sex unless we “come”, unless a peak and release of energy occur. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">When this is the experience of sex, millions of us women are worried, in emotional pain, when the elusive orgasm is not reachable, and most men are deeply concerned because they ejaculate much sooner than they would like - or at least well before they can satisfy their woman. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Unless we “come together”, we feel that we are missing something, that we have failed or are sexually inadequate.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> This urgency for an orgasm now operates unconsciously within us, almost like an automatic reflex, seeming to leave us little choice but to head for orgasm, as we usually do.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> This desire is so strong it seems to be absolutely instinctive, which makes it even harder for us to imagine there might be other ways of making love! </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">And so we repeat ourselves in sex again and again, looking for a certain fulfilment which we never seem to find. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">This tendency of “goal orientation”, and the resulting quickness in sex, has been going on for centuries and, together with religious dogma, it has effectively and seriously repressed our sexual energy. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">We are subject to a host of fears, insecurities, anxieties, tensions and pressures around orgasm and sex, and our pleasure is kept, through this and unknown to us, within certain definite limits of enjoyment. We have lost knowledge of alternatives in lovemaking, and the expression of our sexual energy has become subject to certain conditions. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">These conditions dictate that we automatically always travel along a specific sexual route: we start this way and we finish that way. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">It is virtually a routine. And, unfortunately, these conditions operate without us even knowing they are there, because mother and grandmother and great grandmother made love in this way and if it was good enough for them, why not me?</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> That is how I thought until I began exploring love within a different frame.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> From doing to being the eventual outcome is that through forcing the sexual energy along toward reaching a specific goal, we have lost the capacity to discover how the genitals themselves “make love” what they “want to do”. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">We have a fixed idea of what we want in mind. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">In this way we have unsuspectingly lost our “organic genital intelligence”, and today sex is a function of mind and thoughts instead of true body. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">This sexual conditioning has led to an extroverted and biological approach to sex.</FONT> <BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> We only know how to go for release. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">And along with it our sexual energy has become congested and our bodies unduly tense. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Our lifetime habit of compressing sexual energy and forcing it intentionally, although unconsciously, along a fixed (goal oriented) route, has resulted in a chronic twist in the sex energy, with an almost “cork screw” effect. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">This will even go so far as to affect the leg structure of a person, and the way they walk. </FONT> <BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">The accumulated physical and emotional tensions of our past experiences sit in the genitals making them tense and much less sensitive than they should by rights be.</FONT> <BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> Sex is now more of a mechanical “doing” and reproductive function and we are without access to the divine “being” aspects of sexual union.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> We only know how to “do” in love, and not how to “be” in love. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Picture a flower which stays compressed in a bud, restricted, and never given the opportunity to open and blossom. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Such is our “condition”. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">It is a chronic tension, and the energy center is turned and twisted in on itself in such a way that the naturally expansive sexual energy is prevented from radiating throughout the body. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Sex becomes limited to local genital sensations, we are unable to create higher ecstatic experiences. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">The inward and upward swing of the sex energy required in Tantra happens as bodies and genitals relax, no longer compelled by orgasm, and that same energy spreads and expands deliciously through the body. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Yet very few of us have had this experience because we simply get much too tense as we try to control and force the direction of the sex energy. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">When the same energy is free to move absolutely of its own accord, sex becomes a glorious mixture of rampant passion and sobering silence. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Personal psychology & programming the sexual center is the seat of our individual psychology's and personalities. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">This is where our programming is molded; our earliest unconscious impressions surrounding sex and life gather here, affecting us long before we become sexually active, and onward into the rest of our lives. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">The negative imprints, the centuries of sexual misunderstandings, the phrases, the looks, insinuate themselves into our bodies, while we are still young, innocent and fresh.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> Unintentionally in this way we inherit our sexual conditioning which resides in the body in the form of physical tension, with a restless excitable quality. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">The tension of our unconscious collective past adds to the tensions of our personal past, and these can be conscious and unconscious. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Excitement and sexual tension in usual sex, as soon as our level of sexual excitement reaches a certain point, the sexually conditioned unconscious tension residing within each of us is triggered to form an urgent physical desire, which sets up a powerful craving for orgasm. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">With this forceful injection of tension, we swing automatically away from the here and now, into gear, working frantically toward an artificial climax created by a focus in the future.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> In fact we are not truly present in our sex act because we have absented ourselves in pursuit of a specific outcome. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">In this way sex energy fails to be an empowering moving force, but simply a pleasurable build up and corresponding discharge of tension. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">This sexual tension unfortunately seldom moves through or out of the body completely.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> Instead, it lives on as a residual tension of frustrated desire, accumulating with time and continually seeking release. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">It makes our genitals tough and insensitive, while it makes us feel emotional, restless, lustful, or angry. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">When this gathered tension is triggered, or thrust forward, by sexual stimulation, it too adds to the already disturbed energy in the sexual center. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Like the foundation of a building, if the base is weak, all the upper structures will lack strength and support from the earth. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">In the same way, the higher energy centers in the body, resting above the root will also lack vitality, nourishment and integrity. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Therefore, when the tensions of achieving orgasm are the underlying theme of lovemaking, an already bottom-weak system will cave in. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">The pull or cork-screw twist on the fragile sex center will automatically hook and mobilize the entire collective unconscious surrounding sex. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">When the flood of psychological sicknesses and perversions that have arisen in man over thousands of years on his enduring hunt for fulfillment through sex, seep through to us today, the innocence and spirituality of the sexual act is lost. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">This is effectively a “psychological sickness”, and while expressed through the body, is a condition of the mind. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Sex and the spirit Tantra directly addresses the mind and the restlessness of the psyche by re-aligning man with his essentially sexual nature. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Sex is not to be ignored, it is an aspect of the spirit.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> Since heart and spirit have little to do with the sexual act today, the recent resurgence of interest in ancient sexual attitudes and practices is a sincere attempt to turn the rising tide of sexual ignorance. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">By bringing intelligence into sex, by experiencing the sex energy in an innocent, playful, childlike way, absorbed beyond any preoccupation of outcome, we begin to sever our ties with our conditioned personal and collective pasts, and open up a new world of experience. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">To begin with we need to have a flexible attitude toward time, because time is what we make of it. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">If time is money then time exerts pressure to fit more in and do more things.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> Where time is cyclic as in nature, there is patience which removes pressure and replaces it with relaxation, some plants waiting for years for the rains to come so that they can blossom for a few short hours.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> Have you ever wondered how on earth you would get everything done (in time) and suddenly you are on the plane, up and away, with everything sorted out and slotted into place? If time is what we make it, then it must be flexible, where time can even stand still.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> This happens as we enter the present moment, which is why Tantra asks for an unhurried loving approach. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">When we are not in a hurry (concerned about time) this makes us aware of the unfolding present moment which is filled with richness. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">When I lived in India, I observed that time had almost no significance, in fact nobody really cared about it in the slightest. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Yesterday, today, tomorrow - it did not make much difference.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> Interestingly, in the Hindi language of India, the same word, “kal”, is used to describe yesterday and tomorrow! </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">This attitude toward time gave the whole country an extremely relaxing quality, one of “being” rather than “doing”. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">On any given day an overcrowded train can stop, and stand dead still for five hours at the end of a five hour journey, just twenty minutes from its destination, as mine did. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">And this without any explanation for the nature or the length of the delay. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">When this happened to me, the other passengers just sat quietly, there was nothing said or done, and everyone fell into immediate joyful acceptance. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Adults relaxed and chatted, children played and moved about the crowded compartment as if they were at home, tiffins of spicy snacks appeared and eventually the train started up again. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">No panic or fuss because no one was determined to reach their destination by any specific time. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">If they were late, they were late, no more than that, and trains in India are often a full day late. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">It does not bother the people so much because their inner contentment, their joy, is not affected by goal oriented frustrations. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">We can hardly say this about Western people. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">After living in India for several years and having returned to Europe, I remember sitting on a German plane that was traveling from Frankfurt to Berlin. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">The young businessman next to me kept checking his watch, agitated and quite heated because the departure was already one minute late! </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">When we took off some fifteen minutes later, he was absolutely furious, upset that life's circumstances had interfered with his goal, by a few minutes - and he would be late for his all-important meeting. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">He was restless for the rest of the journey, unable to experience even a moment of peace and relaxation. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">In the Western world, goals, plans and time rule our lives.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> In fact these days it is almost “chic” to be busy. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">And often we keep busy to avoid facing the insecurities or anxieties we may feel about love and intimacy. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">How often have you been too busy for love?</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> And then, when you found some time, it was the last thing at night, a quick fifteen, twenty minutes before you went to sleep. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Or a quickie first thing in the morning before work.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> In this kind of sex, time has entered our lovemaking too, and brought with it the pressure that something has to happen.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> And fast! So in our desire to create pleasure quickly, we move immediately toward orgasm, because it feels good.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> In contrast, Tantra tells us that lovemaking needs time. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Lots and lots of unhurried time.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> Let the train stop for a few hours. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Sexual energy needs hours to relax, blossom and flower, to bring the deepest pleasures of satisfying lovemaking. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">When we give ourselves this opportunity, we find beautifully fresh and unexpected experiences, where the energy itself celebrates differently each time. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">You cannot possibly get bored! In truth, we, ourselves, are creating not only the difference, but also the extent to which we are able to relax into the immediacy of the moment.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> A healing force This Tantric dimension opens up naturally, and accidentally, when lovers are relaxed, open and available to each other, perhaps freshly absorbed in love or surrounded by the gorgeous greenery of nature.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> Many of us have had this magical experience where the moment itself feels like heaven. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">I remember it happening to me spontaneously in India, during an intense monsoon rain, late one night.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> The thundering and torrential rains created the sensation of being encapsulated within a whirlwind of intensity. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">I was with my lover of many years, in his huge bamboo bed, when suddenly time stopped and we moved as one body, passionate and aimless, consciously absorbed in the unfolding “present moment”. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">I was golden and floating, ecstatically filled with love for hours, with no idea of how I had gotten there. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Now I know.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> Through Tantra, I can now access this mysterious “present” dimension consciously, and at will, not merely by accident or chance. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Many of our problems, anxieties and unhappinesses, even illnesses, have their source in sexual issues.</FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> When we validate sexuality by incorporating consciousness as nature and God intended, we discover sex to be a healing spiritual force. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">And surprisingly, the sexual interest does not gradually “burn out” as is commonly experienced by lovers in glaring contrast, the attraction increases. </FONT> <BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">The sexual experience gets finer and finer as time passes, the genitals learning to respond to each other with a new ecstatic “intelligence”. </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">Tantra, which is everybody's birthright, removes the darkness and brings light to life.</FONT> <BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"></FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2"> Summary </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">* tensions of our sexual conditioning overlie our true orgasmic potential </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">* discover the journey of sex and forget about the end part </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">* an unhurried approach creates a quality of timelessness, one of being present </FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="2">* through this the sexual organs re-discover their ecstatic intelligence </FONT></TD> </TR> </TABLE> <BR> <BR> <TABLE WIDTH="50" BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="2" ALIGN="CENTER"> <TR> <TD ALIGN="CENTER" VALIGN="MIDDLE"><FONT SIZE="1" FACE="Arial"><A CLASS="NavLink" HREF="chapter1.html" ONMOUSEOVER="window.status='Books: back'; return true"><FONT COLOR="#FF00FF"><<</FONT></A></FONT></TD> <TD><P ALIGN="center">|</P> </TD> <TD ALIGN="CENTER" VALIGN="MIDDLE"><FONT SIZE="1" FACE="Arial"><A CLASS="NavLink" HREF="chapter3.html" ONMOUSEOVER="window.status='Books: next'; return true"><FONT COLOR="#FF00FF">>></FONT></A></FONT></TD> </TR> </TABLE> <BR> <TABLE CELLPADDING="0" CELLSPACING="0" ALIGN="CENTER"> <TR> <TD><FONT SIZE="2" FACE="Arial, Helvetica, Verdana, sans-serif"><A CLASS="NavLink" HREF="index.htm" ONMOUSEOVER="window.status=' Books HOME'; return true">books</A> | <A CLASS="NavLink" HREF="c-table.htm" ONMOUSEOVER="window.status='Excerpts from the Book'; return true">table of contents </A>| <A CLASS="NavLink" HREF="introduction.html" ONMOUSEOVER="window.status='Excerpts from the Book'; return true">introduction</A> | <A CLASS="NavLink" HREF="chapter1.html" ONMOUSEOVER="window.status='Chapter 1 of the Book'; return true">1</A> | <A CLASS="NavLink" HREF="chapter2.html" ONMOUSEOVER="window.status='Chapter 2 of the Book'; return true">2</A> | <A CLASS="NavLink" HREF="chapter3.html" ONMOUSEOVER="window.status='Chapter 3 of the Book'; return true">3</A> | <A CLASS="NavLink" HREF="chapter4.html" ONMOUSEOVER="window.status='Chapter 4 of the Book'; return true">4</A> | <A CLASS="NavLink" HREF="chapter5.html" ONMOUSEOVER="window.status='Chapter 5 of the Book'; return true">5</A> | <A CLASS="NavLink" HREF="reviews.html" ONMOUSEOVER="window.status='Reviews of the Book'; return true">reviews</A></FONT></B> </TD> </TR> </TABLE></td> </tr> </table> <BR> <TABLE WIDTH="780" BORDER="0" align="center" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" BGCOLOR="#FF8CFF"> <TR><TD BGCOLOR="#FF5BFF" BACKGROUND="../../images/bg-nav2.jpg"> <SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript" SRC="../../js/nav.js"></SCRIPT> </TD></TR></TABLE> </TD> </TR> <TR> <TD ALIGN="CENTER"><BR> </TD> </TR> </TABLE> </BODY></HTML>